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If you don’t go up there, she’ll remind you for the rest of your life about how you wimped out on Prom Night.” “We made the reservation online, it isn’t paid for.”“Don’t worry about it, I brought plastic.” “But if I go into that room with you, she’ll want to know the details. I’ll have to lie until my teeth fall out.”“So lie. Are you really ready to go home, it’s only midnight?” “They have cable TV” I said carefully. “Okay, we’ll put on some boring black and white movie and fall asleep in chairs. What time do you have to be home?” He pulled his tie off and opened the top two buttons of his shirt. That little gesture caused an earthquake in my thighs. I was not ready to go home. The ride to the hotel was the most nerve-racking surreal few minutes I have ever experienced. I was supposed to give my virginity to Steve but he was out of the picture forever. I knew I couldn’t have sex with Chuck because he was my cousin but I also knew he was more man than I had ever been with. We sat there silently for a few minutes. Finally she turned to me and said, “Everybody masturbates.”“I wasn’t doing that,” I said.“Sweetie, she said. “You masturbate everyday.”“No I don’t,” I said.“I do your laundry and I can hear you moan every night,” she said.“You can hear me?” I asked.“Yes,” she said. “Everyone can.”My face turned bright red. I thought I was being super stealth with my masturbation routine. Knowing that everyone could hear me was certainly going to put a damper on my favorite hobby.“I am concerned about one thing,” my mom said.“What?” I asked.“Your penis,” she said. “Something didn’t look right. I need you to stand-up, drop the towel and let me check it out.”“Shouldn’t we go to the doctor and let him do that?” I asked.“If I see something wrong that’s where we’ll be going,” she said.I stood-up, dropped my towel and exposed my privates to my mom. She sat there with a shocked expression on her face. At that moment two things started happening. The first is that I.
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